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I have been here a week now with my parents, I stay with Mama while Daddy has his radiation treatments or runs whatever errands he needs to run. Mostly I sit and watch my Mama as she slips further and further away from us. I am not sure why this dying process has to be so long and drawn out. I supposed that God has something he is trying to teach us all by this. I am thankful that Mama has not been in much pain up to this point. I can't say that the rest of the family has not been experiencing pain though! It is very tough to watch and not be able to do anything to help.
When I got here a week ago, Mama was happy to see me but wanted to know when my daughter was coming. She wanted to see her grandaughter and threatened to go to SA if we did not bring her here. My husband dropped everything and brought her down last weekend. It was sweet to watch my daughter minister to her grandmother, she fed her, combed her hair, brought her washcloths to wipe her hands with. She told Mama that she was going to take care of her just like Granny had always taken care of her. I am really sorry that my daughter will not have a longer time with her grandmother, she still has so much to teach her but am grateful that they have had all the special times together.
When my daughter was born, I was 34 years old and my mother was 61. We were living in Northern Virginia at the time and it was a 1400 mile trip from their home to mine. I made my parents a promise when my daughter was born that I would let them see her as often as possible. I kept that promise even when it wasn't practical. They were her first babysitters. We saw each other as much as we could the first couple of years, with them traveling to VA several times a year. We moved back to Tx in 2000 when she was almost 3 and she has spent loads of time with them every year since. They would go up to the "farm" in Arkansas and fish in the pond. Once she started to school, the trips were limited to summer vacation and school breaks but every Aug. Mama would ask, "When is springbreak"? "When can we get the girl?"
I am so grateful that they have had so much fun together. Hubby and I have benefited by being able to take some vacations alone and generally get a break now and then BUT darling daughter has benefited the most by having 10 years to get to know her grandmother better than I ever knew mine. I hope that 10 years is enought to fill up her lifetime with wonderful memories!
I did not know that we would only get 10 years when I made that promise in 1997, but I thank the Lord that I did make that promise and that I kept it.
Tomorrow I am going home to SA. I have responsibilities and appts waiting for me there. I have a confused little girl that needs lots of hugs and love from her Mama. I hope that I get to see my Mama again but only the good Lord knows the answer to that. I will leave knowing that she loves me and I love her. I have done all I can at this time and need to go home for awhile.
Big Boo Cast: Episode 421
3 days ago
1 comment:
Dear girl...this has to be hard :( I wish that I could help you somehow. I'm glad that your daughter has gotten to enjoy her grandma for ten years...that's been a blessing to both of them, and for you, too. Here are some cyber hugs for you....(((((HUGS))))) wish I could give you some real ones!
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