Monday, April 23, 2007

Innocence Lost

Today was a sad day for us. It was the day we found out that our 9 year old will never be the carefree innocent babe she was just a few hours ago. She let us know that the neighbor child (only a year older than her) had showed her games on the internet that her older brother liked to play. S*x games, with graphic pictures and live models. So my innocent little girl who still likes to play with baby dolls was asking why girls should perform oral s*x on boys.

I had already started introducing her to literature and other information to help her understand the changes that are starting to take place with her body but I thought I had more time to prepare for the facts of life speech. Instead we were thrown into the discussion with no warning and no preparation.

We have always been very careful about what she is allowed to watch on TV and never let her on the computer unless someone is monitoring it with her. I am super careful about who she plays with and where she goes. I feel I have failed her by not protecting her better. I hate, hate, hate that her first introduction to s*x was something dirty and nasty as porn games on the computer.

There is no going back now, all we can do is make sure she has accurate, healthing information and somehow make her understand that what she saw on that computer was not what God intended for it to be. That it is a beautiful thing between two people who love each other and the world has turned it into something nasty and distasteful on the computer.

Please pray for us as we deal with this situation. Pray that God gives us the words to help her understand. Pray that He helps me forgive myself for not protecting her from this.


aggiejenn said...

I am SO sorry you are having to have this conversation SO early in her life. It's revolting that kids (or anyone) can even GET access to stuff like that. Praying that God's wisdom will lead you in your discussions with her. It's not your fault, though. Unfortunately, most people's introduction to s*x is something dirty because it's EVERYWHERE, and we only truly see the God-given, pure side of it when we get married.

I'm praying that God allows her little mind to forget the images she saw.

Jacinda said...

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this! Hopefully it will become a valuable teaching moment.

Jennifer said...

I love you, friend, and am praying for you and for your sweet little family ((((HUGS))))

Anonymous said...

Everything will be okay - truly it will. I know you don't feel that way now, but it will. Your daughter is much stronger than you probably realize and beating yourself up over this isn't going to help either you or her.

I know how you feel as the mother of three kids now long past the age your daughter is, believe me. My kids learned way too much (I thought) on the school bus in first and second grade, but they all turned out fine, as so will your daughter. Of course what they learned wasn't quite THAT graphic, but it all works out in the end. It will.

Be of good cheer, my dear friend. God is still in the heavens watching over your family and keeping you all safe - no matter what evil may come your way.

Much love to you all.


hamiam said...

Ohhhhh boy, (hugs) MAK...

That's hard, but I strongly believe that you've done the right thing by her in talking with her openly and honestly.

Just think, it's no small miracle that she told you about this - she very well could NOT have and we all know the tricks Satan can play in the dark...

And, prayer has been known to completely change a person's mindset - you can pray for God to shine His light on this exposure to the dark, and all things sexual to be made pure and holy in her mind....FOR HER FUTURE!!! :) Distant future, right?!?

Thanks also for your kind words about my own li'l miss. She got her ears pierced tonight - aack! :)