Innocence Lost

Today was a sad day for us. It was the day we found out that our 9 year old will never be the carefree innocent babe she was just a few hours ago. She let us know that the neighbor child (only a year older than her) had showed her games on the internet that her older brother liked to play. S*x games, with graphic pictures and live models. So my innocent little girl who still likes to play with baby dolls was asking why girls should perform oral s*x on boys.

I had already started introducing her to literature and other information to help her understand the changes that are starting to take place with her body but I thought I had more time to prepare for the facts of life speech. Instead we were thrown into the discussion with no warning and no preparation.

We have always been very careful about what she is allowed to watch on TV and never let her on the computer unless someone is monitoring it with her. I am super careful about who she plays with and where she goes. I feel I have failed her by not protecting her better. I hate, hate, hate that her first introduction to s*x was something dirty and nasty as porn games on the computer.

There is no going back now, all we can do is make sure she has accurate, healthing information and somehow make her understand that what she saw on that computer was not what God intended for it to be. That it is a beautiful thing between two people who love each other and the world has turned it into something nasty and distasteful on the computer.

Please pray for us as we deal with this situation. Pray that God gives us the words to help her understand. Pray that He helps me forgive myself for not protecting her from this.