Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Parable of The Toilet Seat

Once there was a family who lived all together in a big house, on a nice street, in the good part of town. One night the wife went to use the toilet in the dark as not to disturb her sleeping husband, as he was a hard worker and she knew he needed his sleep. She was very tired also from watching their children, taking care of their home and all the numerous volunteer duties she had. In her weariness, and the pressing urgency of her bladder (brought on in part from the numerous children she had bore), she forgot to check the seat and fell in with a splash.

The howling awoke the whole family as Mother, vocally expressed her shock at the cold, wet, water that now drenched her lower body and nighgown. The husband and children all had a good laugh at poor Mothers expense, Mother cleaned herself up, got all the children put back to bed (all by herself I might add because hubby was already snoring loudly by this point) and then she was able to go back to bed herself.

Little did she and her family know what lay in wait for them……From that simple fall into the toilet bowl had set in motion a chain of events that would lead to tragedy. As the family slept so peacefully, a tiny germ, introduced through the act of falling into the germ laden toilet bowl, took hold of Mothers body.

A few days later, Mother noticed that she did not have the energy she usually possessed. She shrugged it off , as we all know that Mothers do not have time to be sick. By the time the rest of the family noticed the toil the germ was taking on dear Mother, it was too late!

The germ took over her body and then her mind, poor Mother was not herself anymore. Father came home to find dirty dishes in the sink, clothes piled knee high in the laundry room, a message on the answering machine asking that Little Johnny be picked up from Day Care. Mother had simply vanished.

As for her Family, the dishes and the clothes eventually took over the house, as there was no one to clean them with Mother gone. Little Johnny was adopted by the Day Care Center Owner, as no one ever bothered to retrieve him that day. The other children have grown up to wander aimlessly around, begging from neighbors and friends. Father has taken to finding comfort in a bottle, as there is no one left at home.

So what happened to Mother? Some say she ran away to Tahiti because she knew she was losing her mind and did not want to harm her family in any way, others say she found a cure in Fiji along with a handsome young lover who does not take her for granted and NEVER, EVER LEAVES THE SEAT UP!

--This was written in response to Niki's blog about toilet seats, it does not reflect any problem in my marriage. My sweet hubby never leaves the seat up!

1 comment:

Sandy said...

ROFL, can ALL men be forced to read this?